I hold your sleeping body
Cocooned in the crook of my arm
Examine your crinkly lids
Alien feet
Rosebud lips
“Why don’t you put her down dear?
Get some rest yourself?’
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you
I rock your tense, taut body
Contained in the curve of my neck
Soothe your screaming lips
Flushed brow
Powerful lungs
“You’ll create a rod for your back dear
Just let her cry it out”
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you
I nurse your drowsy body
Cushioned on my lap
Stroke your growing hair
Chubby feet
Busy hands
“She needs to learn to self-soothe dear
Just leave her in her cot”
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you
I gaze at your soft, still body
Nestled on my chest
Meet your watchful eyes
Smell milky breath
Porridgey skin
“You’ll make her too clingy dear
Pop her in her swing”
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you
I lie next to your snoring body
One hand on my arm
Watch your rising chest
Far flung leg
Flickering lids
“She’ll never leave your bed dear
Put her in her own room”
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you
I rush to your screeching body
Toppled on the floor
Kiss your bonked head
Tear filled eyes
Dribbling nose
“You’ll make her into a sap dear,
Leave her, she’s alright”
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you
I sit by your wriggly body
Crawling across the rug
Fetch rolled-away toys
Bang cups
Share smiles
“Children should be seen and not heard dear,
Ignore her, she’s got to learn”
But, for now, I’m going to let myself love you.
Because now you’re too big to lie on the chest that once cushioned your head.
That used to rest on my shoulder.
That now peers around instead.
Because now you’re too heavy to rock in my arms that cradled your body tight.
That used to find comfort in me.
That now sleeps through the night.
And soon you’ll be crawling away from me. Walking out of my door.
Running into your own life.
Seeing the world, and more.
So I hold your sleeping body
Stretched out on my lap
Kiss your sweaty brow
Toothy mouth
Long lean limbs
“You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth”
So, for now, I’m going to let myself love you.
