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Worlds apart (but still neighbours)

One of the many weird and wonderful things I did on the journey to becoming a psychologist was interviewing a range of teenagers from all over the UK. I was doing a study exploring how teenagers cope when one parent is seriously unwell. What impressed me the most about every single teen was their resilience […]

All I Want for Christmas is….Me

When I was growing up, our Christmas tradition (on Christmas Eve thanks to my Swedish dad) was to sit down with Glogg and cinnamon buns and take it in turns to unwrap our gifts, carefully and with some thought and discussion about each one. Like I said, my dad is Swedish. Last night, in a […]

The negative loop

When my daughter was first born I remember reading an article about dealing with ‘difficult’ behaviour. It suggested that one quick trick parents could try was spending 10 minutes a day completely focused on their child, allowing them to take charge of that time. I admit at the time I thought it was ridiculous. Ten […]

“Empty vessels make the most sound”

It’s been a stressful few months, and as a family we are all now recovering from a tremendously trying house move. The dust has settled, boxes are unpacked, lost things have been found. And there I found myself talking to a friend about how she manages “aggressive” behaviour. My usually serene and compassionate daughter had […]

Ghost Busting

“In every nursery there are ghosts. They are the visitors from the unremembered past of the parents; the uninvited guests at the christening” Selma Fraiberg  So far, I’ve written a lot about how important it is to trust your instincts. Today, just when you were getting comfortable, I’m going to turn that on its head. […]

Behind the Blank Slate

“Let us then suppose the mind to be, as we say, white paper void of all characters, without any ideas. How comes it to be furnished?” (John Locke, 1690) Watching that tiny, wise face, it is hard to believe that there was once a time when we though…

The Invisible Cord

As soon as your baby arrives in the world, the process of letting them go begins. At birth, your previously merged selves become a duo and you immediately have to make choices (or they are made for you) about how separate you are going to be. Are …